The Power of Praise
This is day 5 of the series: How to be a better parent in 18 days.
Day 5: Praise your children
Emphasize what your children do right instead of focusing on what they do wrong. This will make them feel good about themselves and develop their self confidence.
Misbehavior often gets more attention than good behavior does. Some kids subconsciously misbehave to get more attention.
Praise good behavior when it happens. Praise should be genuine and specific. Don’t only praise your child for “being a great kid” but rather find specific genuine reasons to give a compliment. “It’s great that you are sharing with your baby brother”, “Well done! You did your homework without me having to remind you”.
Find a genuine compliment you can give your child as least once a day.
Sometimes it is difficult to find a reason to praise your child. You don’t want to praise them for things that do not really deserve acknowledgement but the more you talk to your child the more genuine reasons you will find. For example, if your child tells you about a conflict at school you might feel that he deserves to be praised for the way he handled it. If you hadn’t sat down to talk to him about his day and heard about the challenges that he faced you might not have even known that he did genuinely deserve to be complemented. If you watch your children interact you might also find a reason to praise them.
What do you do when behavior is unacceptable?
Try to focus on the behavior and not the child. Don’t criticize the child but criticize his behavior. If you child behaves in an unacceptable manner explain to him that that behavior it unacceptable and offer suggestions on what he could or should have done under those circumstances.
Always be consistent. Your child should know which behavior is considered unacceptable and what the consequences will be if she decides to behave in that manner. It should be clear that there is always a consequence to each decision she makes. The consequences can be positive or negative. Encourage her to make positive choices and praise her when she does so. On the other hand, when she decides not to make the right choice she should know what the consequences will be.
This is day 5 of the series: How to be a better parent in 18 days. Not signed up yet?