Using Reward Charts to Overcome Sibling Rivalry

Sibling RivalryUsing Reward Charts to Overcome Sibling Rivalry

It is very important to recognize and acknowledge cooperation or successful conflict resolution and not only pay attention to sibling rivalry. Using a reward chart is a good way to do this. It both reminds parents to acknowledge siblings cooperation and shows siblings in a clear manner that their conflict resolution was successful and recognized as such. Using a reward chart enables your children to work together in order to achieve a joint goal. Once they complete the reward chart together they will be awarded with a family oriented activity that will be fun and rewarding for all family members. This could be a visit to an amusement park, a family outing to get ice cream, milkshakes or waffles. Anything that all family members will enjoy and that the children will look forward to. It could also be a toy or game that they want and will play with together. It will encourage them to learn to cooperate in order to receive the reward. The positive acknowledgment and the final “prize” will keep them encouraged. At first, kids might cooperate for one reason only – to win the prize. In time, cooperation will become habit. It will become a rewarding experience not only because of the prize but also because once you managed to reach win-win situations with siblings by cooperating everyone actually comes out winning!

How to use Reward Charts to Overcome Sibling Rivalry

  1. Explain to your children how the process will work. Clearly explain when they will receive a star on their reward chart and most importantly that they need to work together to complete it.
  2. Decide how many stickers they need to complete the reward chart. You know your kids and how short term they need their goals to be to keep them motivated. If you start with a reward chart with 20 steps and feel that your children are losing interest you can always give them a smaller prize half way. Start with smaller goals and increase as their behavior improves. You can start with a 10 step reward chart and once completed they can move on to a 20 step reward chart.
  3. Clearly explain to them when they will receive a sticker. It could be each time they cooperate or it could be for each day that they don’t fight. If your kids fight in the car it could be each car ride with no arguing or fighting.
  4. Decide on the prize. Children need to know what they are working toward.

Start making the reward chart. Encourage siblings to choose the reward chart together from the huge selection available on this site.

How to Prevent Sibling Rivalry


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